When my hubby died, I walked around in a funk for quite a while. I lost a ton of weight and my clothes seemed to be wearing me instead of me doing the wearing. Last December, I decided 2016 would be the year I got my act together physically. I bought clothes that actually fit and even picked up some new makeup. I was amazed at how great I felt. Though temporary, it was wonderful to get a reprieve from the cloud that was constantly overhead.

I recently chatted with a group of young widows to learn some simple – and inexpensive – mood enhancing tips. Check out the list and let us know what you do to feel good, especially on those dark days.

Personal Care

1. Try a new hairstyle. From making straight hair curly to doing the “big chop”, changing your hair can give you a big confidence boost.

2. Reach for the shaving cream. Lack of intimacy is no reason to completely stop shaving. Go ahead. You’ll feel sexy, especially when wearing clothing that compliments your freshly shaven legs.

3. Buy matching bra/panty sets. One widow pointed out, “It’s amazing what this can do for the soul when you feel a mess on the outside. I told my therapist this and she even suggested it to a few of her other patients. Even if no one sees them, it’s something that boosts your mood.”

4. Get pampered. “I occasionally got manicures/pedicures before [my husband died], but now I am more into maintaining them as it’s another way to “treat myself” and feel pretty,” added another widow.

5. Book a massage. A massage works wonders for the mind, body and soul. A quick search on Groupon had 60-minute sessions for as low as $39.

6. Pick up some new make-up. You certainly don’t need a full make-over to lift your spirits. Start by buying a new lipstick color or try some mascara. You’ll be surprised at how you feel seeing your “enhanced” self in the mirror.

7. Change your hair color. Black to brown; brunette to redhead, it doesn’t matter. Do what feels good to you. One young widow pointed out she always joked about wanting pink hair so for her 40th birthday, she did it…and I loved it!

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Physical Fitness

8. Attend a new fitness class like Zumba or Yoga. If you’re unsure if you’ll like it, check out Living Social for special deals and promotions.

9. Enjoy the great outdoors. From a simple walk around the neighborhood to hiking a nearby trail, spending time in nature has been proven to lower stress levels.

10. Move your body. You don’t need a gym membership to exercise. Check out your cable provider’s On-Demand videos for some great at-home workouts. A widow pointed out that “Exercise, hands down, was the number one mood booster and stress reliever for me since my husband died.”

Stimulate the Senses

11. Fill your home with scented candles. “Though it may sound silly, I used scented candles every day and they were a great pick-me-up,” declared one of the widows who shared her spirit-lifting tips.

12. Get grooving. Study after study shows a direct correlation between music and stress relief. Turn up the radio and have a jam session in your car.

13. Indulge in a delicious treat. There’s nothing wrong with satisfying a sweet tooth or craving. Just be sure you’re eating in moderation.

14. Buy fresh flowers for your home or office. According to a study by Rutgers University, flowers trigger happy emotions and heighten feelings of life satisfaction.

15. Enjoy a change of scenery. Take a different route to work. Stop eating lunch at your desk – take your meal outside, even if it’s just for 30 minutes or an hour.

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Kick up Your Attire

16. Add a splash of color to your wardrobe. Be bold!

17. Remember to accessorize. A signature necklace or a unique bracelet can kick up your attire. You don’t have to wait for a night out with friends. Do it today.

Give Back

18. Support an organization near and dear to your spouse. Several widows in the Young, Widowed & Dating support group solicit donations for care packages for patients at the hospital where their husbands received treatment.

19. Donate his clothes/tools. After you’ve had the opportunity to sort through his clothing and determine which pieces you want to save for yourself and/or your children, why not donate the rest to a local organization? You’ll feel good knowing that through your spouse, you’re helping someone who is less fortunate.

20. Participate in a charity walk/run in his honor. There are local 5Ks supporting everything from brain cancer to Alzheimer’s disease and many other diseases and ailments. Pin his picture to your race bib and celebrate his life while raising awareness.

Mom to a feisty preschooler, Kerry Phillips became widowed at age 32. She runs an online support group for young widows and widowers venturing back into the world of dating and is a blogger for The Huffington Post.

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