Losing a spouse gives you a boldness and strength that you never knew existed. Once you realize that you have and will survive the storm that rages around, you find you can take on anything life throws at you. At times, you may even go seeking the adventure, armed with the knowledge that you’ve survived losing a part of your heart so you can get through anything.

I recently reached out to three widows who have reinvented themselves post loss. From launching new businesses to returning to school, these brave women have chosen to give back to the widowed community. They are a testament to the fact that out of tragedy can come something beautiful.

Meet Caroline, Owner of Scripted Jewelry

Current Age: 29

Age you became widowed: 24

Did you always have a passion for jewelry making?

I went to school to be a bench jeweler and even met my husband in New York City’s Diamond District. But, prior to widowhood, I was floundering. I was having a hard time finding my niche in the jewelry industry.

What motivated you to “reinvent” yourself post loss?

Necessity really. I would like to say there was a nice life insurance policy that I could rely on while I regained my composure, but of course there wasn’t. At the time, I was a stay at home mother to my new baby and quickly found myself in a world of trouble financially.

Fortunately, panic laser-focused me to create a business that not only paid our bills, but also kept me busy. It also helped others suffering through the same grief.

How do you feel working with others who are also grieving and/or widowed?

My husband was my biggest champion when it came to me starting my own business and being able to work from home with our son. Unfortunately, he never really saw it come to fruition. I would like to think he would be quite proud of what I’ve built in his absence. It seems only fitting that his love notes were the muse that launched me into this endeavor.

Scripted Jewelry provided me great comfort and distraction in my darkest hours. The fact that my product can in turn help others cope with their grief while honoring and remembering their lost loved ones brings it all full circle. It’s fulfilling and healing (which is what I needed most).

What advice would you give to a widow/widower about reinventing themselves?

Don’t force it and don’t rush it. If you are newly widowed, grieve. Grieve hard and by your own timeline. Don’t let anyone pressure you or rush you or make you feel ridiculous for breaking down. You are going though one of the hardest things you will ever go through and only you know the pain you’re in or the love you lost. It will hurt horribly, but the agony will (eventually) subside and you will emerge stronger.

Once you’ve done that, take a step back in the light of day and look at the wreckage. There really is a calm after the storm and it is the perfect time to decide what you want from the next chapter of your life.

Contact info:

Website
Facebook
Instagram
Email: Caroline@ScriptedJewelry.com

Meet Sabra, Grief Counselor and Founder of Black Women Widows Empowered

Current Age: 50

Age you became widowed: 46

Did you always have a passion for therapy/counseling?

No

What motivated you to “reinvent” yourself post loss?

I created several avenues after the death of my husband. I obtained a certification in Lay Christian Counseling and counsel pre-engaged /engaged couples and those grieving. I also became a GriefShare facilitator and certified as a career coach. I began a radio show as well. Most importantly, I started Black Women Widows Empowered. I needed to help others.

I’ve always been the type to help others in need. After my husband passed away, I felt the sense of urgency to create avenues that would aid in the wellbeing of other women.

How do you feel working with others who are also grieving and/or widowed?

I love it. I love encouraging others and motivating them from their grief to a smile, then prayerfully towards emotional wholeness.

What advice would you give to a widow/widower about reinventing themselves?

Don’t waste any time toward initiating your new ‘purpose’ in life. You will hit many obstacles, become discouraged and face naysayers. It’s part of your testing and that will make you stronger. Just do not feel guilty during the process. Be the widow that your husband would want you to be – and more!

Contact Info:
Facebook
Instagram
Email: blackwomenwidowsempowered@gmail.com

Meet Allyson, Owner of Determined to Shine

Current Age: 35

Age you became widowed: 31

Did you always have a passion for scrapbooking?

Before I was widowed, I taught scrapbooking classes locally and even published a couple of crafting books. After losing my husband, art journaling and scrapbooking became my lifeline, not just hobbies. I started creating projects and pages that helped me find myself again. I was able to really dig in to what I was feeling and find out what motivated me. There was so much healing through that process, so I couldn’t keep it all to myself. It’s fun to make projects just because you want to, but creating to heal and empower is so meaningful and transformative. It changed my life, and I had to share that with others.

What motivated you to “reinvent” yourself post loss?

Honestly, it just felt like there was no other option. I spent a lot of timing trying to put my life back together. Eventually I realized that the life I had and the future I’d dreamed about were gone. It was time to set all of that down and start over. I moved to a new city, and after a few years here, I launched Determined to Shine. I will always love my late husband and there are many people back home that I still love and see quite often. But in order for me to truly and really heal, I had to start from a blank slate.

How do you feel working with others who are also grieving and/or widowed?

As strange as it sounds, working with other widows is one of my favorite things. In particular, young widows have a sort of sisterhood. It’s impossible to understand what it’s like to lose a spouse so early in your marriage unless you’ve lived it. Widows are some of the strongest, most genuinely amazing women I have ever known. It brings me a lot of joy to be able to help others get through those initial stages of grief and be living proof that there can be a light at the other end of the tunnel.

What advice would you give to a widow/widower about reinventing themselves?

Don’t overthink it. Ask yourself, “If I could do anything in the world, what would it be?” Whether it’s moving to a new city, starting a company, or just about anything else, go for it. It can be a scary, but the reality is that the traumatic loss of your spouse is quite possibly the hardest thing you’re going to have to handle in this life. Your worst day ever is likely behind you. When you know that, almost anything else seems possible.

Contact Info:

Website
Facebook
Email: allyson@determinedtoshine.net

Mom to a feisty preschooler, Kerry Phillips became widowed at age 32. She runs an online support group for young widows and widowers venturing back into the world of dating and is a blogger for The Huffington Post.