It’s often said that when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, life handed me lemons and I made a baby! A few years ago, I made the conscious decision to become a single mother.

I understand that choice may ruffle the feathers of those who are pro-marriage and believe a child should be created with a mom and dad in the household. And, I am in total agreement, except sometimes life happens. Occasionally the best laid plans go awry and you then have to improvise.

As my daughter gets older and comes to know the story of how she came to be, I want her to know that she wasn’t created with a “job” in mind. She wasn’t charged with restoring joy to my life; providing companionship; or giving me a reason to keep living. There wasn’t an expectation that she even love me. She didn’t have a role to serve, no requirements. All she had to do was simply be.

Her existence isn’t one that came about because I felt I didn’t want or need a man in my life. Although she’ll no doubt be taught my “I am woman, hear me roar” mantra, she’ll also know that a relationship between a man and a woman who truly value and respect each other can be a beautiful thing. I pray she finds the right guy who makes her feel as though she’s the only person that truly matters; who loves her unconditionally and pushes her to want, achieve and do more. The love I have experienced yet lost so tragically.

I want her to understand that although I ultimately chose to continue along the path to motherhood alone, she is neither a stereotype nor a statistic. She is not 70% more likely to drop out of high school or 75% more likely to turn to drugs and alcohol simply because of the size of our household. There’s an entire support system of friends and family who assists in providing the guidance she needs. Besides, she’s already overcome the most negative odds of all: a 1% survival rate while in utero.

I hope she continues to charge through life with the same intensity and force in which she came into the world; the spirit to defy the odds and not only survive…but thrive!

Someone once said, “When something bad happens, you have three choices: You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you”. I chose to be strengthened and to live my life on my own terms.

This blog post originally appeared on the website, covHERstories.