It doesn’t matter if you were college sweethearts who just said I do,
Or a middle-aged couple who took the plunge after two failed marriages apiece.
It doesn’t matter if it was love at first sight,
Or a relationship that developed over time.
It doesn’t matter if your marriage rivaled a romance novel,
Or was filled with turmoil and trials.
It doesn’t matter if you watched as a disease ravaged their body,
Or you got a call about an accident.
It doesn’t matter if your spouse loved you to the very end,
Or if he or she claimed to hate you just before their last breath.
It doesn’t matter if you’re 25,
Or 85.
It doesn’t matter if you were a partner,
Or had legal marital status.
It doesn’t matter that you’re surrounded by his/her children,
Or that you’re left without a part of your spouse.
It doesn’t matter that you’re completely devastated,
Or, at times feel free.
It doesn’t matter that it’s been three weeks,
Or 30 years.
It doesn’t matter that you never want to date/love again,
Or you’ve opened your heart to love again after two months.
It doesn’t matter if you’re grieving the person your spouse was,
Or the person they had yet to become…
Your loss matters.
Your loss is significant.
Your loss should be expressed.
Your loss should be acknowledged.
Your grief is real.
Your grief is valid.
Your grief should be accepted.
Your grief should be supported.
This just validated everything for me. God bless you for sharing your beautiful words. Thank you Kerry! I just turned 26 after losing the love of my life at 25, and it’s been four months. I am so thankful for finding your writings. Sending you love!
Glad it was helpful! Thanks so much. Virtual hugs
Hi Nayasha,
I’m sorry to hear about your loss. I too, myself lost my partner. It’s been 3 going onto 4 weeks now. Tough times indeed! Would love for us to chat.
I lost my wife of 21 years about ten years ago. It was a hard loss and I haven’t really been on a serious relationship since. I’m 57 and I think it’s time to meet someone because I love the fact of being with someone to share different things with. So I’m hoping to meet someone to fill the void in my life. It’s not a replacement but to have that companion.
This is exactly what I was thinking. Married 27 years together for 29 it has been a little over a month and I still feel los,t and even though I am surrounded by family, a!one. My heart goes out to all that are experiencing loss. One day at a time
Hello,
I lost my husband on Jan. 24th, 2021to covid and was having a hard day today.
I’m glad I stumbled across this.
So sorry for your loss, Melissa. Big hugs.
I too lost my husband to covid, in September 2021, and am going through a hard few days. Sending you love and a hug x
It’s been almost 2 years since The L♥️VE of My Life went to Heaven after 48+ years of being together 💔🥲 This 2nd year without him has been worse than the first. This group says Young & Widowed~I’m 66 but feel way too young to be a widow. I’m glad I ran across your group & Sorry for your Loss.
So sorry for your loss. I have a widows who are much older in the YW&D community. My philosophy is “You’re as young as you feel.”
I lost my wife of 21 years about ten years ago. It was a hard loss and I haven’t really been on a serious relationship since. I’m 57 and I think it’s time to meet someone because I love the fact of being with someone to share different things with. So I’m hoping to meet someone to fill the void in my life. It’s not a replacement but to have that companion.
Been 14 yrs now I’m 43 yrs still very hard
We been burying his brothers in November last year and lastweek end .There were good uncles to my kids.
Thanks for bringing broken and shattered hearts together to mend in sorrow and fellowship. I never thought i would experience grief and sorrow as i experience it now, i lost my wife to cancer on the 8th of December 2020 and there are times the loss becomes too great to handle but then I’ve got to hold it together… for the kids etc. They say time heals…does it really?? It just grows a scalp but the scar remains, fear of suffering grief all over again is scary but i guess it a way towards an inner healing. We are in a unique boat together, the only way to get to the other side is to keep rowing…..God Love.
So sorry for your loss, Craig. I hope you’ve been able to find a support group to connect with others. It’s definitely a lot to handle.
I lost the love of my life 7 weeks ago. We were high school sweethearts and reconnected just 5 years ago, after 45 years, married 2.5 years ago. We were blissfully happy and I am devastated. I have never known such love in my life – and now, experiencing the deepest grief of my life.
So sorry, Andrea. Be kind to yourself and be sure to look into grief support spaces. My widow community was my saving grace.
Thank you for sharing. I lost my husband Feb 11, 2020 from cardiac tamponade due to aortic dissection. We met later in life and felt blessed to know a love like ours, however, our last chapter was written less than two years after it started. My husband has now been gone longer than we we’re married so I really appreciated the line regarding time married. I think some folks attribute length of married to depth of grief, and to those folks, I have no words.
I can totally understand, having been married only for 1 year. Big hugs
It’s been just over two years since I lost my husband to suicide. A grief you cant explain and a pain that is so different. A pain that leaves behind guilt, what ifs and why. Some days I can’t bare it, but most days a function as a human for our kids.
So sorry, Katie. Some days can be brutal. Hope you have a widow support group for those especially hard days.
Today marks 9 years ago he chose to die. Tomorrow marks 9 years that I knew. Our daughter turned 9 the next day. In two days she turns 18.
9&9…18
So much time gone…. Seems like it was today still.
I get that duality of time.