Society thinks grieving looks like unkempt hair and smudged mascara.
That it looks like an untidy house and drawn curtains.
They think it is gut-wrenching social media posts and broken-heart emoji.
But that’s not always the case.
Sometimes grief is family vacations – wishing your spouse was there…
It’s getaways to exotic destinations with your favorite widowed people and reflecting on your lost love.
It’s getting dressed up each and every day and trying to live a life without him or her.
There is grief in happy Facebook statuses.
There is pain reflected in the eyes of even the most filtered photo.
Please don’t discount the depth of our grief.
Or, assume we’re over it because we’ve chosen to live despite losing our spouse and in essence, part of ourselves.
The magnitude of our loss is constant.
For many, living is the only thing preventing us from dying.
Please…
Just let us live!
Mom to a feisty kindergartener, Kerry runs a support group for young widows and widowers venturing back into the world of dating and is a contributor to Open to Hope. She is the author of “The One Thing: 100 Widows Share Lessons on Love, Loss, and Life” and her articles on widowhood and grief have been featured in HuffPost and Love What Matters. She was recently featured on the podcast, Moments of Clarity.
It has almost been a year since I lost the love of my life. We were together for 26 years with 2 wonderful kids but at 45yrs old I still feel completely alone. My friends are his friends as couple’s, so without him I am always missing that half of myself. I struggle every second with the loss of the life I had and where to go from here 😔💔
Sorry for your loss, Debbie. My best advice is to connect with other widows. You will always miss your spouse for sure but there is something healing in being with others who understand you and “get it”.
Hi Debbie, I lost my wife 18 months ago and it feels like yesterday. I know your pain. It’s god awful. I was 46 when she passed. I can’t believe how painful and continuous this experience is. I’m sorry we are going through this.
I completely understand how you feel. I was 39 when my husband of 19 years passed away. We were high school sweethearts and loved each other deeply. We have beautiful twin girls and raising them after he died was my salvation. Still almost 9 years later, I feel traumatized, isolated and misunderstood. We live the loss daily, while other friends and family members have gotten over it and expect that we should too. I’ve just started a blog in support of widows and offer resources that I have learned in the way. We are stronger together… I would love to start a support group in my area. http://www.widowgood.com.
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Last year I lost my beautiful wife and best friend. She passed away in her sleep. She was 45 but looked 35. I am 51 but looked 45. we had no kids of our own, I have a daughter getting ready to enter Law School. We were a happy, successful, college educated couple and enjoyed each others company to the fullest. This past mothers day would have been the 17th year anniversary of out first date and the 7th anniversary of our marriage. She was so special to me and I loved her so and still very much miss her. After what feels like an very long year of grief support groups and much psychotherapy, I now believe me to be ready to find that special someone with whom to share my life with. Do you think it possible that a person can win the lottery twice in their lifetime? I hope so for I am counting on it! :-}
Yes! So many widowed people I’ve encountered have been fortunate enough to find another amazing love.
Is it possible to win the lotto twice in a life time? I hope so for I am counting on it! Because, I am a friendly, supportive and positive person who believes in the law of attraction, I know I can find that special someone with whom to share my life with. And if we cant share a life, I believe there is no reason we could not share laughter & friendship, right? Here is to you, reading this comment with my hope that you also win the lotto twice in your life!