International Widows’ Day is observed annually on June 23. Established by The Loomba Foundation, the day raises awareness about the plight of widows and many of the injustices they face daily.

According to the United Nations, “once widowed, women in many countries often confront a denial of inheritance and land rights, degrading and life-threatening mourning and burial rites and other forms of widow abuse”.

I recently reached out to a group of widows from across the globe and asked them to share their insights as to how widowhood is perceived in their country. There are their stories:

Location: Ciudad Juárez Chihuahua, Mexico

Name: Gabriela

Age Widowed: 43

How well/poorly is widowhood addressed in your country: You become invisible when you lose a spouse – almost like a social pariah to everyone including friends, family and the government. Widowhood turns you in the white elephant.

Biggest challenge as a young widow: It’s been very difficult to continue living as “normal” as possible, especially if you have children. They’ve lost their dad and it’s hard for them to realize that they’ve also lost what used to be their “village”. It hurts to see my kids excluded just because their father is dead. This was not my kids’ or husband’s choice.

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Location: Winchelsea (Victoria) Australia

Name: Melissa

Age Widowed: 35

How well/poorly is widowhood addressed in your country: I’m not sure what the whole of Australia is like in this regard but I do know there is a group called Wombats Wish that is located in Geelong, Victoria. They run two-day camps specifically for bereaved children (lost a parent). It also caters to the surviving parent or guardian. The camp is small (around 10 families at a time) and I’m not sure if it is open to all of Australia or just a few states. It gives children a safe place to talk about their deceased parent and there are activities that revolve around that. The adult side of it is geared towards helping the surviving parent support their child(ren) through grieving (not so much about coping as the surviving parent though).

I specifically wasn’t given much help. You pretty much had to go and find your own counselor for example. Young widows here are subjective to archaic rules. An example is that our government welfare payments aren’t available for widows until they are around 65 years old.

Biggest challenge as a young widow: My biggest hurdle has been raising three young children on my own. I’m expected to work plus be there to take children to appointments, sports, etc. I find I am also very lonely for adult company.

Location: Johannesburg, South Africa

Name: Chanelle

Age Widowed: 29

How well/poorly is widowhood addressed in your country: With South Africa having so many diverse cultures, there’s a lot of understanding of widows especially as it seems to be an even more frequent occurrence due to crime and irresponsible road users. Unfortunately, we get very little or no government support and sadly I am yet to find an organization that specializes in assisting widows. The amazing thing though is that the saying, “It takes a village…” is really abundant here. Communities come together to support you. Sadly, however, the responsibility in the long-term falls back to the families and a lot of these families struggle with the financial burden.

Biggest challenge as a young widow: I think my biggest struggle has been accepting help when it is offered. Coming from an Afrikaans background, we are raised with a lot of pride and a “do not complain, just get on with it” mentality. Because of this, it has been very hard to accept the help from the community and even family when it has been offered. I think there is an element of shame attached to this as you’re expected to just “get on” with life.

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Location: Manchester U.K.

Name: Caroline

Age Widowed: 42

How well/poorly is widowhood addressed in your country: My husband died from a sudden brain hemorrhage and I had to seek out support as none was offered at all. I believe had he died from cancer then the support for myself and my kids would have been exceptional. My kids, aged 11 and 13, received a couple of ‘sessions’ at school where they could talk to a member of staff but other than that they were given no support. As I was married, I qualified for ‘widowed parents allowance’ but many of my widow friends with children who were never married (even those who cohabited) were not eligible and therefore struggle financially to bring up their children on a sole income. Many of them have very, very young children and at the time of their partner’s death were not employed due to staying at home to bring up their family. When they lost their partners they suddenly found themselves penniless whilst grieving.

Biggest challenge as a young widow: It’s been hard coming to terms with losing so many ‘friends’ who’d promised to always be here for me and the kids yet disappeared in less than six months.

Name: Nina

Age Widowed: 33

How well/poorly is widowhood addressed in your country: My country actually gets a lot of things right. We have monthly financial support (widows/widowers pension) from the government. It is based on your own income so if you make a lot you won’t get the support. The downside for many is that you have to have been married for five years at the time of death. Unfortunately, this often excludes the youngest widows. Children get financial support regardless of the widows’ income until the age of 18 and it doesn’t matter if their parents were married or not. Of course, it also helps that our health care is free and that we get paid sick leave for up to a year (after that we get 66%). A company also isn’t allowed to fire you while sick.

In my experience, it is quite rare for others to meet young widows, but luckily I find that most people accept and support my moving forward. I haven’t encountered many archaic rules or prejudice thankfully.

Biggest challenge as a young widow: I think the biggest challenge is feeling alone as a young widow. I wish there were support groups I could find to talk to someone who can relate. Perhaps there would be more options if I lived in a bigger city.

Location: Eldoret, Kenya

Name: Wilfrida

Age Widowed: 29

How well/poorly is widowhood addressed in your country: In Kenya, I have never come across a support group for widows. I’d love to find one where I could physically go and learn how others are managing the stress brought on by the loss of a loved one. Also, I wish my government would recognize widows the way people with disabilities are recognized. Disabled people are given a monthly upkeep, get first priority to apply for work, access to funds to open a business and even work flexibility. It’d be nice if these things were made available to widows too.

There are still many archaic laws in place such as the widow not being able to own the land that belonged to her spouse. Also, the government feels that an inheritance and/or pension should be equally distributed to all remaining family members despite our spouse’s wishes.

Biggest challenge as a young widow: My biggest challenge is how to go on and what to do in this next phase of life. I struggle with an inability to move forward and the loneliness only makes it worse.

Location: Pembroke, Ontario, Canada

Name: Alexandra

Age Widowed: 31

How well/poorly is widowhood addressed in your country: My country is fairly progressive, yet on an individual level, my experience after my husband’s passing was traumatizing mostly due to my late husband’s family.  I am on disability, and when he passed, the government continued to give me his portion of the disability check for an additional three months, which really helped a lot. There is no specific counseling for children who have dealt with a parent dying where I live. There are a few mental health services, but it really is limited. Overall, mental health where I live is pretty abysmal.

I find that widows, especially young widows, are overlooked and ignored. Mental health services are a joke, and there is little in the way of programs available for those dealing with traumatic events.  I understand though that a part of the problem is my location, as I do not live in or near a major city.

Biggest challenge as a young widow: Widows, especially those with kids, are expected to be strong.  To put on a face of resolve and get stuff done despite how they feel. We cannot cry. We cannot grieve.  And, we certainly can’t shut down. If we do, we are weak.  I supposedly disrespect the memory of my late husband by doing anything other than being robotic (not so much emotionless – as that would look even worse – but… strong).  We are supposed to support the kids, the family of the late spouse, and ourselves. We have to put on a pretty face and pretend that one of the most traumatizing things in our life wasn’t a big deal. NO ONE understands what it is like to lose a spouse other than other widows. You cannot compare it to anything. You cannot put yourself in someone else’s shoes and try to “imagine” what they are going through. You just can’t.  The only people to ever come close to understanding a widow’s grief, pain, and mind is another widow.

Mom to a feisty preschooler, Kerry runs a support group for young widows and widowers venturing back into the world of dating and is a contributor to Open to Hope. Her articles on widowhood and grief have been featured in HuffPost and she was recently featured in the Moments of Clarity podcast.