We lost what feels like a part of us. The future we visualized or planned with a late spouse was erased with a diagnosis, sudden death or maybe even suicide. 

For many, the thought then became how will I continue to live. How can I make decisions alone? How can I raise our children without my person? How can I survive?

I don’t purport to have the magic bullet to make grief any more bearable. I know that even now, seven years later, my husband’s death can still rock me to my core. I know I will forever grieve his death; grieve for our life together; grieve for what can never be. 

But, I also see so many in our community hold onto the death of a spouse so tightly that they forget to live. They somehow feel it dishonors a partner’s memory to move forward. Their heart and mind so tightly hold onto the death that there is no room for anything more to flow into their life – not friendship, not travel, not fun, not love…nothing

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As someone who interacts with widows and widowers daily, please know that I have never once seen anyone moving forward with their lives and thought, “Wow! That person must have forgotten he or she is widowed”. 

You won’t forget your spouse by choosing to find your happiness. So many of us walk through what’s left of our life feeling entitled, bitter and angry. We somehow think that the world owes us something because we’ve loved and lost. That people are beholden to us because we are widowed. The truth is that the only person who is obligated to cater to you is you!

You have to stop using widowhood as an excuse to not live your best life. You certainly don’t have to do something as drastic as going on a solo backpacking trip through Europe but you can attend a monthly event with the widowed community in your area. You don’t have to quit your job but you can at least update your resume and/or LinkedIn profile and start a job search.

Being unhappy isn’t synonymous with widowhood. You are allowed to feel numerous emotions while grieving, including happiness. Opening your heart and mind ever so slightly to allow something other than anger and fear is perfectly okay. Those who will judge you for moving forward aren’t worth sacrificing your peace of mind that comes with remaining in this dark place. 

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And, please know this has nothing to do with finding a new partner. There are so many different ways in which those who are widowed can rediscover life post-loss. Afraid to travel solo? Consider a travel group. Want to start a business? Reach out to SCORE, a resource partner for the U.S. Small Business Administration. There are endless possibilities if you only start by allowing a little light to shine into the darkest parts of your life. 

Remember, you’re no more widowed than the widow committed to making the best of the cards she was dealt. You earn no more widow points than the widower who is showing his children that there can be a happy and meaningful existence after the death of a spouse…the loss of a parent. 

If you feel you can’t go it alone, reach out to a professional therapist, life coach, etc. Knowing that you need help is nothing to be ashamed of – ever. 

I know choosing happiness isn’t easy. It’s certainly not done overnight. But begin taking baby steps. Find at least one thing to be happy or grateful about each day and build on that. Grief will always walk beside us but don’t allow it to hold you hostage from living and enjoying life.

Mom to a feisty kindergartener, Kerry runs a support group for young widows and widowers venturing back into the world of dating and is a contributor to Open to Hope. She is the author of “The One Thing: 100 Widows Share Lessons on Love, Loss, and Life” and her articles on widowhood and grief have been featured in HuffPost and Love What Matters. She was recently featured on the podcast, Moments of Clarity.

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