It was 1991 when Salt-n-Pepa’s hit song, “Let’s Talk About Sex” blasted from radios across the country. Sex. It’s often a taboo subject in the widowed community. People think we shouldn’t be dating, let alone having sex. Heck, at times, even we feel guilty for getting our freak on.
Whether a widow is waiting to remarry or opts to engage in a “friends with benefits” situation, sex is often thought about, though seldom discussed.
I recently reached out to the widowed community and asked them to openly and honestly discuss this three letter word that’s been known to get widows in heated exchanges (no pun intended). Below, they share some of the unusual and eye-opening aspects of sex and intimacy post-loss:
Unleash the Libido
- I feel like my sex drive has become over the top. My partner and I have sex at least once a day to two times a day
- My sex drive went up. With my husband, 2-3 times a week I was happy. Now, I want it like 7 times a week!
- Before my husband died, my drive was almost gone. Now it’s over the top! I get cranky if I don’t get anything at least twice a week. I would like it more but with kids, that’s almost impossible.
- I now have a crazy high libido that made me consider (but never follow through with thankfully) friends with benefits or even just a fling with a stranger. I dubbed myself a “celibate nympho.”
- The days following my husband’s death I felt absolutely nothing…except for horny. I was walking around in a cloud of numbness and profound pain and ALL I wanted to do was to get screwed by a massive and muscular man. This sensation was odd and confusing to me, but it slowly passed. Three months out I still get hit with waves of high libido and an urge for physical connection, but I let them flow through me. I know I could find someone to help me meet my physical needs, but I am choosing, for now, to sit with it and let myself process these feelings.
Watch Out! Older Women on the Prowl
- My sex drive is in overdrive and I’ve experimented with different races. I’ve definitely become a cougar. I’ve only been with much younger men since my husband passed.
- I’ve turned into a cougar. I tried not to, but I just can’t help it!
- My inner cougar is on overdrive though I’ve calmed down considerably recently.
- I’ve found that guys who are 10 years younger are showing interest and that is definitely a bump in the ego.
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The Wait will be Great
- I’m saving myself for that special someone. Offers are there, just not interested.
- I know I will be ready for a relationship in the coming months, but for now, I’m okay learning from these desires and urges as I process this profound and unexpected loss.
- I fell in love with a man who had been an acquaintance for years. I am incredibly drawn to him and it was like losing my virginity all over again. He was patient with me and the end result is a very active and much more satisfying sex life.
- My drive skyrocketed almost immediately after my husband died, which is unfortunate since my morals require I wait until marriage. It’s been 16 months and it hasn’t let up. I’m dating again and let’s just say I’m half tempted to find one of those drive-thru wedding places so we don’t even have to get out of the car on the way to a hotel.
Who Says You Can’t Learn New Tricks
- Rough sex and BDSM (bondage, dominance, submission, and masochism) are definitely in the repertoire now in a way they weren’t before. My late hubby was not into hurting me physically. My boyfriend and I have a mutual enjoyment out of playing the pleasure/pain games.
- I feel more confident than ever before, which makes sex more exciting. It’s very freeing. Losing my spouse made me approach everything in life with sort of a “f–k it” attitude (no pun intended).
- I’ve started trying new things (kinks, fetishes, whatever). I never realized before that I like pain…not like cervix punching pain though.
- Being a woman of “mature” age I was surprised at my curiosity in trying new things (some pleasant and some not so pleasant). I was 46 when my spouse was killed and I’m 54 now.
- I definitely enjoy rougher sex now. I can do it without too much emotional attachment but I could do that before my late husband too. It’s just back. I have great orgasms but this may be due to reaching sexual peak more than anything else.
- I’ve become a connoisseur of vibrators.
- There is more intensity for sure. The passion in sex has really heightened with my current partner and I am much more sensitive to touch than I used to be; not sure why.
- I learned that I actually enjoyed sex! I became the aggressor and am now unafraid to say what I want. Death taught me life is too short to wait around for things to happen. If you want it YOU have to go for it!
Regrets, I Have a Few
- I had a one night stand at nine months and it was horrible. I cried for days afterwards. I waited until the 14-month mark to have sex again, with the guy I was dating.
- I waited a year and a half before sleeping with someone after my husband. It was like losing my virginity all over again. Then, I engaged in some reckless behavior for a few months (made it out unscathed thank God)…. felt guilty, took a few months to get myself together, jumped back into it with a clearer head and made better choices.
- I used sex, abusive sex for a couple of years post-loss because I thought I deserved to be treated that way because my husband took his own life.
- I started dating three months post-loss and had a fair amount of sex trying to fill the void. Luckily I ended up with a guy who helped me see love and acceptance in all of the relationship, not just sex.
- Un-character like, I had a lot of sex with several partners to seek and satisfy validation of many things, which I am not proud of.
- I definitely had a heightened libido and I affectionately called this as my “hoe phase”. Ultimately I realized I needed more of a connection than just the physical.
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Doesn’t Everyone Have a “Special Friend”…Or Two…or Three
- I’ve been surprised by my ability to have sex with no strings attached. As a woman, it’s frowned upon but… why? I’m always safe and take care of myself so why can’t I enjoy sex with someone I just met or sex that won’t mean anything tomorrow?
- I come from a very conservative religious background where sex is ONLY between a husband and wife. Losing my husband so suddenly, I find I am a bit rebellious towards my upbringing/religion/values. I decided to make up my own mind about what I want. This has included becoming sexually active with someone other than my husband. Surprisingly, I don’t carry much guilt. Even more surprising, I have had the best sex of my life with someone who is NOT my husband. I bought into the whole “You have to love someone to connect with them” attitude towards sex but as it turns out, I have had mind-blowing sex with someone I don’t love.
- My sex drive has always been high but after not having sex a year and a half post-loss, I made up for it. There was lots of meaningless sex with partners I would never have chosen previously.
- I knew I was not ready to date or be in a relationship so I tried a more casual approach. I have never done this before. At first I was horrified at my behavior but came to realize if it’s mutually beneficial than I am good with casual. In my pre-widow life id never have considered this!
- My inner hedonist is dancing gleefully around shaking her ta-tas. It has to be shining out of me, too. The Home Depot guy gave me the “veterans discount” on my new freezer (I’m not a veteran), and another man tripped into a door because he kept trying to look at me. I’ve got a booty call scheduled for tomorrow afternoon, and let’s just say that I made a very, very good friend last night. It’s a huge confidence booster to know I still got the ol’ mojo and as long as we keep it safe, what’s the harm in it?
Remind Me…What’s Sex Again
- I’m like a virgin again after 5+ years…well, kind of. I wish I could let my guard down and be more free-spirited.
- I couldn’t care less if I ever have sex again. I’m fine with that. I do miss the physical touch sometimes but massage therapy takes care of that.
- I have no interest. I no longer feel pretty or attractive and have no desire at all to have sex.
- I used to have sex three times a day sometimes but since my spouse’s death, I can’t even think it. I am 15 months out and I feel so repulsed that I don’t think I could even get off if I tried with someone else. It’s weird. My husband wasn’t the only guy I have been with either. I just feel dead on every level. I wish I could be the exact opposite of what I feel, cause this is crap too. I am literally angry about it.
Regardless of the route you choose, hopefully, you’ll learn that you’re not alone and only you can determine what you want your sex life to look like post-loss – or if you even want to have one. Perhaps this widow summed it up best when she said, “There is no right or wrong way. It’s just a journey and we all have to find our way”.
Mom to a feisty preschooler, Kerry Phillips became widowed at age 32. She runs an online support group for young widows and widowers venturing back into the world of dating and is a blogger for The Huffington Post.
I am a mature 67 and when my husband passed, I wanted sex so bad it was crazy. My daughter’s boyfriend would pass me without his shirt and I lusted after him so bad.
Glad you resisted! Lol
It’s strange that it feels that way, but when the grim reaper passes and does not take us, we want to make love to everyone between puberty and senescence. Just to feel alive
I am 34yrs old and just recently widowed 3mths ago. I think I am suffering from “widows fire” I am craving sex so much. I have prayed but the urges seems to get worse. I hope my self control keeps me going before it gets intolerable.
I feel am ready to date again after a loss of my husband a year ago.I am 33 years of age.
Good for you. Stick your toes in one at a time.
I feel am ready to date again after a loss of my wife
Then you better should be. It is nothing wrong to get physically attached after getting widowed
Yes
Just go for it
Thank you Kerry for addressing this topic and NAILING it! I can relate to almost 98% of this blog. I love love love it! My libido is out of CONTROL and I am ok with it!
Lol! Glad you could relate 🙂
Thanks! This explains so many issues. I’m having fun but was a little concerned about my f*** it! Attitude. So, it’s all good.
As long as you’re good, that’s all that matters
I have the same f*** it attitude as well. My friend thinks this is abnormal, but I feel 100% guilt free about it. This article really helped me understand I’m not alone.
Most everyone’s comments are so validating. I have only been with one man, my husband of 25 years. It has been a year since he died and 2.5 years since I have had sex. It is all I think about and hopefully, I have found someone to satiate my appetite for sex, companionship and that “hedonistic” side I have never had before, but now it is at the forefront of my thoughts. I can’t believe it myself. Widowhood has brought out a side of me that I did not know existed. I find it fascinating, that I am not the only one that is experiencing this.
It’s it great to know you’re not alone!
I lost my husband after 45 years ,I’m 62,it’s been years and I mean years since I’ve been intimate as my husband had high blood pressure since we were in our mid 40,s. It’s been a year and my libido is ranging. I still look young and am in great shape.i need a partner and have a man friend as of now. But definitely looking forward to the day it happens. And it better happen soon.
For the first two to three months I was numb and had very little sexual desire. This was actually good but very concerning. By the 3rd month I had a girlfriend that walked me back through everything. At first I had a lot of guilt. It was hard to have someone else’s hands touching me. By month four we couldn’t get enough of each other. It’s one thing that makes me feel so alive again. It brings such comfort. We joke that sex is my anti-depressant. I get in a real funk if we skip a day. It’s now nine months and we are still doing it once or twice a day. This was so unexpected.
That’s refreshing to hear. Congrats.
A friend of my husband had been talking to me about loosing his best pal, and over time we relised we liked each other (just enjoy company together: we sit and watch StarTrek) and have had sex 4 times since my husband past. This friend told me my husband invited him to join us once in bed, and shared photos of me a year or so before my husbands death. I believe him.
This friend has now refused sex with me. He informed me he now feels like he is betraying my husband, his cloeset friend whenever we touch.
I love my husband and still cry and miss him.
But I miss the sex as well and truely enjoy having this friend in my life.
I dont know what to do.
Sex on the regular
yes i like him
It’s been 3.5 yrs since my husband passed away and i haven’t had sex since then. I just recently met up with a guy that I’m very attractive to and had sex for the first time and it felt amazing. I kinda like the no emotional attachment just plain sex.
🙂
My exboyfriend from high school and college is recently widowed. We are both in our 40s now. He’s asked me out for New Year’s eve. All I can do is think about is how great the sex was with him back then and how I cant wait to get him back to the hotel room. Lol. I’ve been divorced almost 3 years and havent dated anyone in 2 years nor had sex so I’m ready especially since he’s familiar so I personally don’t feel guilty about it… I’ve just been conflicted bc I don’t want to come on too strong …even though he has mentioned sexual things to me…which I feel indicates he feels likewise. His wife died less than 6 months ago. Any advice?
Nicole, I think taking things slow might be a great option. It’s not uncommon for our emotions to be all over the place at times. Pack your patience and be open and honest about expectations so no one ends up hurt.
Thanks so much for this article, it has really helped me to feel about my current situation. My husband dies very suddenly nearly 7 months ago. I am a young, attractive 49 year old. For the first 6 months i was consumed with grief and pain and lived in a bubble of sorrow. About a month ago I reconnected with my very first boyfriend from school, we were each others very innocent first love. Since then my libido has sky rocketed!! We waited for a few weeks before having sex and are trying to take things slow and casual. Sadly he has cancer and I feel we are giving each other comfort at a time we both need it. I feel comfortable and safe with him and like a teenager again which is great and I don’t think I’ve ever felt this horny!! My sex drive had gone into hibernation for several years even though I had a fantastic marriage. I thought I would feel guilty and wrong but I don’t, apart from that my close friends are giving me a hard time and think it’s really wrong and are worried I’m making a huge mistake. I have tried to explain to them that this is what I need and want right now but they are struggling to accept this which is making me confused and wondering if I should call the whole thing off, but I really don’t want to. Any feedback would be much appreciated
Clare, I think you have the right to find your happiness despite your friends’ warning. If you are protecting yourself and not self-harming, then the sky is the limit. You’ve been through so much. I commend you for opening yourself to a new partner post-loss. I pray your friend goes into remission so you can continue to enjoy each other. Best wishes.
I think all the women on this blog are so brave for bringing this info to our attention. I do, however, wish to tell you about a widow who threw caution to the wind and hooked up with a retired cop and they quickly settled into a fast and furious BDSM extended holiday. My part in this is the jilted boyfriend who didn’t pick up on her sexual clues that she was looking for something a little rough around the edges. She kept me in the dark and then friend-zoned me, saying that we didn’t have any connection. I agree for the most part, except we did have an emotional connection. My bad for not picking up on this. I lost her to a more predatory BDSM’er and felt horrible because of misread cues. How can I prevent this from happening again? All I wanted to do was help (and have sex).
Sorry it didn’t work out. Communication is definitely critical.
Hi… my husband of 38 died suddenly a few weeks ago after 35 days of being in the ICU and I watched him slip through my fingers over and over. Eventually his muscles were gone and the light in his eyes went out even though he was still there. He became mean to me in the last few days before his death because he had a brain infection. It was terrible. As soon as he passed away my libido kicked in and it is like a burning fire of desire to have another man touch me. I want a pulse… I want a man whose arms are healthy, I want to be touched by another man to represent that my marriage is dead and my husband will never touch me again. I opened my self up to one of my exes from when I was in high school who has been a friend for 22 years and we have always had chemistry. He is newly divorced as well. I started sleeping with him and he is like a drug and medicine for my pain. At least reading everyone else’s posts I understand myself and my grief better. I can’t help it. It is all my grieving heart wants and I can hardly breathe. I figure my body is the boss right now and I am just surviving g moment by moment.
Hey!
My husband, 33, of 10 yrs died beginning of march. In ICU for a week and had to pull the plug. I was numb for a few months and about 4.5 months, during covid I got on a dating site. Most seemed too scared to move quickly with me even though I’m strong and have had tons of growth. Then boom saw an old fling on the dating app and he was totally game to hang as friends but be what my friends joke is my slam piece! lol. My libido is through the roof, always has been high but its out of control and I sort of enjoy it. No one has a rule book for hopefully the most messed up thing we will encounter! Much love to you, you do you
Clare,
Glad you have found a safe secure place to get back in touch with your physical side. You said it had gone into hibernation for years before your husband passed. Do you understand why it left and why it’s now back?
Going through similar situation and would appreciate any insight you might have.
I’m 49 and was widowed 7 months ago. At first my libido was out of control and I really wanted sex, but didn’t act on it. That’s now gone, I am okay with the lack of it and no longer crave sex. Until just over a month ago that is, when I started dating someone, and we have come close. He has suggested a ‘sleepover’ this coming weekend. I want to, very much, but at the same time I am terrified, I haven’t been with anyone but my husband for nearly 20 years. What scares me most is not knowing the expectations now… i.e. is pubic hair supposed to be shaved, left natural, sculpted? Is he going to expect oral or anal sex, is that all the norm nowadays, what if I don’t want to? I don’t exactly have a ‘young’ body any more. I don’t know the feel of him, or what it’s going to be like, I am really scared. He keeps making suggestions about spanking and other stuff, I was okay with that with my husband but it feels like that sort of stuff is way too intimate with someone new. Or am I just being silly? I don’t want to talk to him about this because it’s making something that should be a bit of fun too complicated and I think it would put him off.
Ange, it really just depends on what you’re comfortable with. If he’s worthy of being in your life, he’ll understand that this is new territory for you. Take your time, explore, rediscover that you’re into – and not into. It’s important to have an open and honest dialogue about sex and intimacy. It will certainly enhance the experience!
I love the internet! Came here cuz im really considering having my first 3some with my new friend that i cannot stop wanting to have sex with..met him 6 months after hubby died..end of summer fling i thought..he stuck around and we have the best damn sex ever! I am so free with him..no inhibitions at all being bbw with a flat butt lol..i never liked giving oral as much as i do now with him..i just have to everytime i see him lol..hubbys death anniversary is coming soon and i do not feel bad like i once did..i feel more alive actually! Thanks for sharing everyone😊
After physically caring for my severely disabled husband for almost 17 years, he passed away.v I had not had sex with him in more then 12 years. I am 56 years old and have been a widow for 7 years. Until just recently, I’ve had no desire for sex since my precious husband passed away. But the past couple of months my libdo has been raging. I’ve tried masterbation & sex toys, but they do not fulfill my sexual desires like my baby did. Even though my husband was not able to “perform” the 5 years before he passed, I didn’t have any libdo at all. (I guess that was because I knew that he couldn’t perform? I don’t really know). But because of my religious beliefs, I can’t even entertain the thought of just finding someone to have sex with!
It really sucks, especially for those who require marriage before sex but aren’t quite ready to date/remarry. Hugs
I think the key is have an open mind and heart. It’s unfortunately hit or miss for many people – not just widows and widowers.
I just lost my husband about a month ago after long illness. My libido has been on overdrive! I thought i must be crazy and feeling so guilty. Good to know I’m not alone and that these feelings are not unusual. Thank you – reading this has been so helpful!
I’m 17 and I just lost my boyfriend and he’s all I crave I don’t know what to do
So sorry for you loss. A support group can be a great place to start.
Thanks
My darling husband passed away in August 2019 after over 12 years of fighting myeloma. I was a bit stunned to experience a huge sense of physical loss and a yearning to be touched, held and made to feel special. By the autumn I’d started to flirt a little with one of his old friends whom I’ve known for almost as long as my late husband and this accelerated rapidly over the last couple of weeks. Neither of us wants any sort of long term commitment – he has been divorced for years and hasn’t had a partner for at least 5 years and we just want some fun and company. So the inevitable has happened and I have been feeling and behaving something like a teenager of late. I have been worrying that people will think I’ve betrayed my husband but I haven’t. Our daughter is totally cool with me seeing someone and is pleased it’s someone that her Daddy knew and not some stranger from a dating site. I am so relieved that I found this site as it reassures me that my feelings/behaviour are not unusual. Thank you!
I should add that I am a ‘young’ 63!
Love it! Good for you 🙂
My husband took his own life almost a year ago. I was 29 when he died. I am 30 now. We had been married for 13 years. At first i felt nothing i was numb. It would disgust me when people told me i would find someone else. I couldn’t bear the thought of being intimate with anyone else. However, now my sexual desire is back. I don’t think ill act on my urges now or have anyone to have intimacy with. I am just going to learn to live with it for now. Maybe in the far future ill try casual sex as i don’t want anything serious with anyone. Ive never had a one night stand or had casual sex so who knows if it will happen. Im also a mom so i have to respect my body.
I am a widower for a little over 10 moths now and haven’t been with another woman by choice and do not see it happening anytime soon. I have pondered over and over again again whether its worth it to re enter the the dating community and realized that the need for sex as we know are all stemmed from the brain. I have wondered if my want for sex but not the desire for a relationship is more an emotional way of being selfish like we all feel subcontinent is because we felt that our husbands or wives passing was them or God being selfish and we just want to be selfish now too. A subcontinent way of getting even.
Every widow or widower are different but most of us share the need for someone desiring us and sexually vice romantically feels cleaner and we don’t have to face the feelings of if its wrong to give our hearts to another instead of our bodies alone. For instance a lot of male widowers remarry within a year of the loss. This i will point out is the need to not only feel wanted, but also feel needed as a man and a provider.
My pillows lay on my shoulder when i fall asleep. Sad to say it is comforting in an empty way. but i am luckier than most because at the age of 50 i have a 15 yo daughter and 11 year old son who keep my days hopping but dread the nights alone.
Thank you for writing this. I’m 62 years young, lost my husband 2 months ago but because of ED we hadn’t had penetrative sex in 5 years. After caring for him for 8 months I am beyond horny. I want sex but God forbid you can’t talk about that with anyone! I’m to wear black & remain celibate? Geez in 62 years I’ve only NOT had sex in15 of those years, well 20 if you count those last 5. I am dying here! I want to live again.
I’m glad I stumbled across this page because it’s really good to read your experiences. My wife died suddenly very recently and I’m only just beginning to contemplate what my life might look like in the future (I’m 59). My priority at the moment is my 15-year-old son and I can’t really conceive of the idea of a committed relationship with a woman who isn’t my wife. Apart from anything else, I’d feel sorry for her because my wife and I were very deeply in love and a new partner simply wouldn’t be able to compete with all those memories. But I can conceive of wanting light-hearted sex and fun with another woman. What many of you say here makes me realise that this isn’t such an unusual desire and gives me hope that it might be possible in the future, when I’m ready. Thank you.
So glad the blog post was helpful
I lost my wife 2 years ago. Since then I have gone insane for sex, I miss the femenin I look at her underwear and dream, touch, I cannot bear to throw her clothes away.
You’re definitely not alone, John. I know many who have turned to massages to deal with the skin hunger they experience.
lost my partner of 11 years to suicide about 4 months ago. I am 38 he was 35. We had an incredible sex life, but were on very shaky ground for the last month and had not been intimate in any way for about one week before he took his own life. About 1 month after he died I began having casual sex with a few different people. However, lately due to parenting, and random unfortunate/ inconvenient circumstances like a lost phone, one guy working out of town a lot, losing interest in one guy who got too attached, scheduling conflicts etc.; I haven’t been able to work out making it happen. Now I feel more alone than ever, and resentful of my partner, how he left me, and what he left me to face alone. I long to be held, REALLY loved, and made love to. At the same time I have this overwhelming resistance to be emotionally vulnerable in any meaningful way, because it’s hard to imagine the sensory experience of falling for someone, and to be honest most people are disappointing. Reading this article and comments was pretty difficult. I am bursting at the seems with longing, hopelessness, and feelings of self-consciousness and inadequacy. I also feel like I could “get laid” if I want to, but I am also not sure how many more people I can be sexually open with. It’s like being caught between grasping at straws to hold on to my youthful sexuality and reconciling with the fact that I may not become a priority for anyone I develop feelings for. Any insight from others here is welcome and deeply appreciated.
Posed your comment to the YW&D support group and got some great insights. Hope something resonates with you:
“First of all I would say this person is in such early days. And that the process of grieving is long/neverending. While going through a phase of dating or sleeping with people during grief isn’t bad or unusual, it sounds like this person may be using that as a distraction from feeling their feelings. I would recommend this person spend some time sitting with their feelings and grief. And then from that place of security and processed feelings, start dating.”
“ First, I applaud their self-awareness and ability to understand what they’re feeling. This person wants two contradictory things – to be loved and made love to, and to remain emotionally closed off/not vulnerable. Having both of these things isn’t possible. Getting laid is a great way to temporarily dull the pain of losing your partner, but it’s not a long-term solution. You have to face the pain and grief (and yes, anger) and work through it. I’m not saying stop having casual sex. I’m saying don’t use it as your primary tool to cope with your grief. I think you have a lot of insight into what’s going on with you, and a good grief therapist can help you connect the dots all the way and help you start healing.”
“ Therapy. Professional therapy, not the self medicating type which I feel this person is doing by having random casual sex.
The only way to work through the feelings of abandonment and anger is to work through them. The right professional therapist can help her or him with their issues and grief.”
“ You need to love yourself first n foremost. Take time to find YOU and take it from there xx”
“ What I am about to say comes without judgment, you aren’t doing/experiencing anything that is unusual. You are self soothing with sex the same way some people self medicate with alcohol, food, shopping, etc. This doesn’t make you a bad person. You have experienced a trauma and the profound loneliness that comes from losing a person that you expected to spend your life with. There is a void in your life now and it is terrifying with a capital T. It is normal to desire companionship and intimacy to make enduring this loss more bearable. For most of us climbing into bed is one of the hardest confrontations of the death of our partner. We face it night after night. This is hard and confusing and lonely AF. My advice to you is, extend yourself grace. I tried to run away from grief like at track star. I still struggle with feeling like a prisoner in a castle of sad memories. I tried to F the pain away. It worked for a bit but grief was right here waiting for me when things turned to crap with the relationship I should’ve never been in in the first place. Just be careful. My judgment was impaired by my desire to escape the loneliness. Please know that you are loved and supported in this group no matter where you are in your grief journey. We’re all in the same shitty boats rowing together. Some of us have just been rowing longer than others.”
“ She got tired of casual sex a lot faster than I did… It’s easy to go from this stage to codependency and a partner who is opportunistic and toxic.
My advice for those who are having these yearnings for intimacy but remain unable to be emotionally available is to make love to yourself. Indulge in your favorite hobbies, foods, and self care practices. Volunteer, join a choir, take a cooking class, book a massage, take a fishing/camping/hiking trip. Take yourself out to dinner and a movie, alone or with friends. Engage in your own personal development.
In the early stages of grief, it can feel like you’ll never be happy alone. But once you are widowed, you often have to figure out how to treat yourself well before you can have a meaningful intimate relationship with someone new.”
“ I learned a lot about myself during my alone time.. I think FWB type situations hardly ever work out long term.. I also made my self do things that was hard .. Going out to eat alone.. Fixing my car.. Therapy.. Hugs”