$176,000!
I stared at the screen in disbelief as Dr. Phil circled the number on the display. That’s how much a 78 year old woman had sent to a man she’d been “dating” for two years though they’d never met in person. He reached out to her on a dating site and before her head could catch up to her heart, she’d cashed out her 401K and left herself practically penniless.
No doubt many widows will say “I could never be that stupid” but theses scammers are persistent and know exactly what to say to get us to lower our guard and open our wallets. Often, it’s quite obvious that the person is a scammer or looking for a free ride. I’ve had young men from foreign countries tell me they are looking for a “sugar mummy”. I’m sure everyone would delete that correspondence or not even bother replying but what about when the gentleman in the picture below reaches out with a flirtatious message:
Beware of scammer Leonard Brent using this photo
My friend, Scott (pictured above), recently had his photos stolen by a network of unscrupulous people*. The scammer(s) targeted women on Facebook, OkCupid and other dating and social media sites. It seems women were drawn to the fact that he was widowed and a doting father to his special needs son. He was notified by a teacher who felt there was something not quite right about the handsome suitor in her inbox. Scott tracked down the person—Leonard Nathan Brent—on Facebook and reported the page. It was quickly removed by Facebook. Within minutes, Brent Leonard became active, using Scott’s photos. As fast as Scott got a page shut down, another one popped up. He eventually recruited the members of his widowed group to help him report the pages.
I contacted a few ladies on the scammer’s page and they seemed genuinely shocked to find out “Leonard” was a fraud. In fact, he’d made plans to visit one of them in the upcoming month!
In addition to the tips I provided previously, I encourage widows and non-widows alike to do their homework, especially when it comes to online dating:
- Find out the potential date’s first and last name and Google it. Check to see if he has a LinkedIn profile. Most professionals do.
- Scammers are trained to prey on us, especially when we’re in a vulnerable state. Use your head.
- Often, a scammer comes on really strong. He may call you “my love”, “honey” “baby”, etc.
- If you are ever sent poetry by a man you meet online, run random lines of the poem through Google. There are entire websites dedicated to messages scammers send potential victims.
- Ask for a current photo WITH a common/everyday household item (i.e. Send me a picture holding a fruit/book/newspaper). If he’s a scammer who has stolen someone’s pictures, he more than likely will not have access to a photo showing this.
- Watch out for bad grammar and unusual sentence structure (i.e. honey, you know together you and I belong).
- Red flags should be raised for a man who claims he’s working overseas in a remote corner of the world.
- If a guy tells you he’s born and raised in New York, chances are that he should not have an unrecognizable foreign accent.
- Many times, a “military” guy will say he has a home back in the states but he’s stationed in Nigeria. Ask for the address. Work through that city/county property appraiser’s office to verify the information. You should be able to search via name and/or address.
- If after he makes plans to see you, some unforeseen tragedy occurs such as a bombing, an arrest and/or major illness, run! A request for money will soon follow.
At the end of the day, you should have butterflies that come with getting to know someone. If you’re feeling hesitant, trust your gut.
* The authorities have been notified. If you have been a victim of the person impersonating Scott, please email Kerry@YoungWidowedAndDating.com and will we’ll put you in touch with the right people.
Mom to a feisty preschooler, Kerry Phillips became widowed at age 32. She runs an online support group for young widows and widowers venturing back into the world of dating and is a blogger for The Huffington Post.
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