When my hubby died, it was so random and unexpected that both our families were left confused. Despite his not feeling well, death was never on our radar. We were left with so many questions: What happened? Was he hiding the severity of his pain? Had he been intentionally harmed?

Not long after his death, someone mentioned my consulting a medium to get answers to those questions and others I so desperately needed. Pardon my ignorance but the only names that came to mind were Miss Cleo (may her soul rest in peace), John Edwards and Dionne Warwick (when she was part of the Psychic Friends Network advertising campaign). They certainly didn’t seem capable of providing any insights into his death. Plus, as a Christian, the thought of meddling in the supernatural world seemed taboo. Though I do believe that some people have the gift of premonition, conjuring up deceased loved ones – even my own husband – gave me the heebie-jeebies.

While talking to members of the Young Widowed & Dating support group, I was surprised to discover that several members had reached out to a medium. They all felt it helped with the healing process, allowing them to get the closure they needed.

About one month after the loss of her spouse, Sandy reached out to a medium for the first time.

“I wanted to know if he was okay,” she said. “I needed to know if he knew what happened; if he had been scared; or if he really had been killed instantly.”

Sandy found it to be a very emotional experience. The medium told her an unidentified man—later found to be her husband – had been waiting for her all day, hovering in the background until she walked into the medium’s home. Considering Sandy had been a last minute appointment, it was uncanny.

“I am not overly religious, but I am spiritual,” she explained. “I feel our loved ones want to communicate and not everyone has the ability to hear them clearly. Using a medium is a way to kind of link the spiritual world and the physical.”

Fellow member Andrea also met with a medium one month after her husband died. She’s had multiple consultations and found them to be “incredibly accurate and reassuring”. She says the information provided has given her peace and confidence that her hubby still exists and is with her.

“My husband died of suicide so I had many unresolved issues,” she said. “The medium has been a source of immeasurable peace and provided closure – or at least contributed to it. I just met with one this past weekend and my best friend told me my eyes looked more peaceful than they had for quite some time.”

When Annah sought answers about her boyfriend’s death, she proceeded with caution. She was very much aware of the numerous scams and tricks certain “mediums” use to fool their victims into believing they are communicating with their loved ones.

With a survey for the Pew Research Center’s Religion & Public Life Project finding that one in seven Americans have consulted a clairvoyant, it’s no wonder it’s become a get-rich-quick scheme for some.

In fact, several recent high profile cases thrust the industry under the spotlight. In one startling trial, it was uncovered that noted author Jude Deveraux paid a psychic close to $17 million over a 17 year period to be able to connect with her deceased 8 year old son. The psychic was found guilty of 14 fraud charges and sentenced to over 10 years in prison.

“I tried to remain caution but open-minded to what the medium had to say,” said Annah. “Fortunately, she seemed to be the real deal. I had questions surrounding Jack’s death as it was sudden and unexpected. I gave her very little information to go off and just sat there and listened to what she had to say. It felt good to have reassurance that he is still around me; I just can’t see him.”

Young, Widowed & Dating group member Barbara said she certainly understands the need of the widowed community to want know more about their spouse’s untimely death but believes the answers don’t lie with a medium.

“I don’t have anything against mediums but you can find an answer to every question you have about death in the Bible and it won’t cost you a penny,” she said. “I lost my husband four years ago and a sister and a son both in October 2015. Because I believe in Jesus, I know where they are and I also know I won’t know why they all had to leave so young until I reunite with them in Heaven. I hope everyone is able to eventually find the peace they desire.”

Mom to a feisty preschooler, Kerry Phillips became widowed at age 32. She runs an online support group for young widows and widowers venturing back into the world of dating and is a blogger for The Huffington Post.

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